By Laura Krawczyk (Local Branch Officer)
Not since the days of Rome, has a greater Empire existed than the one I have created. I am the supreme ruler and emperor who unites the world under the white, red and blue flag. Some thought of me as short, unfortunately they seem to have lost their heads somewhere up the mountain.
Note to self: remember to surround myself with short subjects, so that I appear average height.
I have won one battle after another with no time to rest. Oh, but it was worth it! The blood and the glory! Nothing and no one will stop me now. Being an artillery commander surely paid off. Look at me, I am the Emperor of the French. My predecessor, Louis XVI could not have claimed that. Alexander the Great is nothing compared to me. I rule from the Atlantic Coast to the steps of Russia, and from the North Sea to the Mediterranean. I am the Lord of over 700 million subjects. I will soon embark on a mission to slay the bear who for now rules Russia, Alexander. But before that, I must put an end to my greatest foe, Britain. Let me find the papers from my spies with the figures. Those awful isolationist dogs! I cannot penetrate their island with their large fleet patrolling the borders. However, I can play what they think is their trump card against them. Aha, this is too good! I will defeat them as a nation of traders and introduce the Mercantile Policy. Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! No one will want to touch them, when I am through with them. A continental blockade will drive them into ruin. Take that Nelson!
I am solely responsible for boosting the power and prestige of France. When I took over after the fall of the Directory, France was nothing. I have not only made her something, I have made her the nation to fear. The French will worship me. They will look at me as their leader, and not look too closely what is going on in their domestic lives. All eyes will be on me. I have come out victorious, but need to defeat more countries before never having to fear that history will forget me. They will chant my name. Ambition is never content, even on the summit of greatness.
Now, what will I do about those godawful republics I conquered? Those ungrateful Italians shall be deprived of their treasure after my soldiers loot their possessions. I will be seen as a mediator to the Swiss. I shall occupy Holland and add it to my Empire. They have nice tulips. Those Fourth Coalition idiots, what do they think they are doing? Standing against me!? Prussia has picked the wrong side. I shall have half of it and teach it a lesson. I have the greatest army. I am the greatest military commander. I am Napoleon.